28 February 2009

Silly Biker - Roads are for Idiots

You know, every once in a while I will be thinking some inane thought and the idea will hit me to write about it; most of the time I ignore it which explains the significant lack of activity here at Motorcycles Have No Doors. So let me catch everyone up on my latest brainshower. The weather here has been warm for a few days, although not today; today it's in the 50's and generally blah, but I digress. The weather has been nice enough for me to fire up the bike and ride to work; now, since I work on what is essentially an Air Force Base, that means I always have to wear "contrasting colors", boots, gloves, eye protection and helmet. For my contrasting colors I have a Harley-Davidson riding jacket (not leather) that is bright Harley orange with bright white lettering and black trim. This jacket makes me stand out like a sore thumb on the road and therefore qualifies under the Air Force's definition of contrasting colors.

Now what do you think is going on around me on the road when I'm on a motorcycle with loud pipes and wearing a bright orange jacket. If you say you think other drivers see me and treat my vehicle like every other vehicle on the road you would be wrong, wrong, wrong. Personally I think my bright orange jacket and loud pipes actually attract drivers much like a moth to a flame or a dog to a juicy bone. For example, the other day I was coming home, going down the same street I travel every day to and from work. This street has a very wide curve in it and at the end of the curve is a cross street that has a STOP sign at the intersection of the two streets. So, here I am on the street coming out of the curve when a white SUV piloted by what I call Airheadicus Womanicus Americanus, or your typical oblivious idiot woman driver on a cell phone arrives at the STOP sign. I see her and I lay off the throttle and downshift from my lightning fast 35mph (which is the legal limit on this street) because I just know what idiot woman is going to do.

What do you think she did? If you say you think she blew the STOP sign and pulled out right in front of me I would say DING DING DING!!!! you are right! Yes campers, this really bright "I can do anything a man can do" type feminasty did not even slow down for the STOP sign, she blew right through it and turned left with me directly in her path...me, on my motorcycle with THREE very bright lights on the front, loud pipes AND the bright orange jacket. Good thing I already know the level of stupidity of any idiot, male or female, who talks on their cell phone while behind the wheel. Armed with that little golden nugget of knowledge I anticipated what idiot woman was going to do and slowed down just barely enough to keep from slamming into her or going off the road or into oncoming traffic. Now, on top of the bright lights, loud pipes and bright orange jacket I was also laying on a neat little invention called a horn.

Wanna take a guess what the really smart feminasty did when she finally realized she cut off a motorcycle? Well, the first thing she did was hit her brakes, then sped up when I had to pass on the left to keep from hitting her AGAIN. The best part of this is when I was alongside I yelled and flipped her off and she didn't even look! Nope, she stayed right on that cell phone and didn't even blink an eye. Now, some may say my boorish behavior may have scared her (we all know how incredibly rude it is to be angry with a good Mississippi Christian, especially after they almost mowed you down with their car) and that is why she didn't look at me; I think it was because she was really that oblivious and moronic.

So, I want to start something here; in the comments section at the end of this post I would like everyone who reads this to share their own harrowing experiences with oblivious drivers. You don't have to be on a motorcycle but I will bet the motorcycle stories will be much more hair-raising and interesting! OR, if you happen to take offense with my description of the typical idiotic driver of the female persuasion please let me know that as well...the more colorful the better! Ready.....Set.....GO!!!

26 February 2009

Christianity - The Greatest Hoax of Our Time - Part 2

Continuing my last blog post, I really want to take a closer look at present-day Christianity. Every time I see a business with the Ten Commandments posted in front or a company truck plastered with the moniker “Christian”, I stop to think. What do I think about? Well I stop to think about the tale of Jesus in the temple; remember, Jesus entered the temple and cast out the money changers. Kind of reminds me of today, the money changers are in the temple AND they are breaking the first and third commandment. Remember the first commandment; I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no other gods before Me…remember the third commandment; Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain. Every day these “Christians” are breaking these commandments; yet they look down their noses at those who do not subscribe to organized religion.

I seem to remember another story of Jesus in the Bible, one where he was questioned which of the commandments was the most important. Do you remember it? It goes something like this; Jesus was called on by the Scribes to answer which was the most important of the commandments, His reply was we should love the Lord our God with all our hearts and the second was we should love our neighbor as ourselves. So what does that mean? Does it mean we should look down on and ridicule people because they are gay or because they really do not have a choice but to get an abortion? Or does it mean we should do everything we can to make sure everyone has the same right to get married and form a loving family or to extend a helping hand to the person who has no choice in order to give them a real choice?

Where in the New Testament does it say we can be judgmental of others? Where does it say we can dictate how others live their lives? Very simply put, it doesn’t. These people here in Brandon, Mississippi and pretty much all organized religions twist the words of the Bible to their own purpose. They call on the Old Testament when it is convenient to them and claim the New Testament when the perceive someone treating them badly. I am tired of these people. Imagine if we all lived as “true Christians” what a world this would be. Help out your fellow man and do no judge him by his lifestyle. Do not use the Bible or Christ to support your hatred and greed for that is the most egregious of all sins…it’s also why I avoid people who call themselves Christians.

25 February 2009

Christianity - The Greatest Hoax of Our Time

“I can’t wait to get out of this town…” This is what I was told when my wife and I went to what passes for a delicatessen around here last Sunday. We walked in after the church rush; yes there is a church rush around here but more on that later. We approached the counter and I cracked a joke about how dare you not have my potato soup on Sunday, don’t you know who I am??? I said this laughingly in jest since I know they don’t do that soup on Sundays; thing is she looked at me and said there were people like that who are serious! So, I cracked another joke with, “Don’t you know who I am? I go to Park Place Baptist Church” We shared another laugh and I apologized for making fun of the morons around here when she gave me the opening line. This girl is going to Tulane University in New Orleans in two years and she cannot wait to get the hell out of Brandon, Mississippi.

It amazes me the sheer number of churches around here. When we moved here we received a Welcome Package that listed four pages (FOUR PAGES!) of churches! You can’t swing a dead cat around here without hitting the Ten Commandments. We have “Christian Movers” and “Christian Day Care” and “Christian Plumbers”; every day I listen to someone going on and on about how they won’t do business with a “non-Christian”. These same people cut in front of you in line, and in traffic; these are the same people yakking away on their cell phone while they’re driving. These are the same people who think you are inferior if you don’t go to church.

It kills me that these same idiots who claim to be Christians will turn their backs on their fellow man. How can someone justify denying gay people basic civil rights like to get married? How can someone vehemently oppose abortion but be in full support of the death penalty? How can someone claim to love Jesus but ignore His most basic teachings? These are the people who vote against lifting the liquor restrictions in our county. Do you want to know why? Because their pastor tells them if they vote to lift the restriction there will be a liquor store or a strip club right next to their house the next day.

Wait, shhhhhhh, do you hear that? That is the sound of sheep, baaaah, baaaah...sheep being led to the slaughter by the wolves in sheep’s clothing.

18 February 2009

Tolerant and Peaceful Iran

I heard an interesting piece on National Public Radio this morning as I was headed to work so I thought I would share it with you. Follow me on a trip, if you would, back to that bastion of peace, love and tolerance, Iran. (Insert extremely sarcastic remark here) I’m not sure how many of you keep track of the Nobel Peace Prize awardees, I don’t, but in Iran there resides the 2003 Nobel Laureate and women’s rights activist Shirin Ebadi. This is one brave woman, let me tell you. Last year, she challenged the Iranian government to stick to its commitment to international rules on children’s rights and stop executing children for crimes they commit. Yes, Virginia, Iran executes children who commit crimes in accordance with Sharia Law which is based on the peaceful, civilized, tolerant religion of Islam. (Insert next extremely sarcastic remark here)

So what is Ms. Ebadi up to now? Well, it seems in December last year she organized a celebration to mark the 60th anniversary of the UN’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Such a noble cause, human rights, isn’t it? I mean we as a global, civilized society do indeed have an obligation to recognize that all human beings have basic rights; rights such as to live, to eat, to work, to speak freely, to worship freely, to be able to send your daughter to school without fear of her having acid thrown in her face or being gang-raped or burned alive or treated like property…all of which is almost non-existent in the peaceful, tolerant Islamic-led governments like Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, UAE, etc.

Guess what happened to Ms. Ebadi; go ahead, guess. An hour before the ceremony was to begin Iranian police arrived, broke up the gathering and shut down Ms. Ebadi’s Human Rights Defenders Center. Why did they do this? Why would this peaceful, tolerant country silence a human rights activist’s voice? Well, Ms. Ebadi had the audacity to provide the UN with a report on human rights abuses in Iran which resulted in the UN’s censure of Iran. So, they shut her down and in January a lot of young men arrived at her home in Tehran chanting anti-American slogans, spray painting her apartment building and accusing her of working for America. She called the police but they evidently just let it happen; small wonder since this is the same police that shut her down in December.

There are others subject to this treatment; Ibrahim Yazdi who is head of the Freedom Movement of Iran has been harassed, arrested and prevented from running candidates in elections because of their liberal reformist agenda. Two Iranian doctors, Arash and Kamiar Alaei travel the world treating AIDS cases and attending medical conferences were arrested on espionage charges and found guilty of working for Americans trying to overthrow the Iranian government. And who is to blame for this crackdown by the Iranian government? Why the United States, of course! Just ask Mohammed Marandi, a professor of American studies at Tehran University; Mr. Marandi believes the US has been officially funding groups in Iran dedicated to overthrowing Iran’s government.

So, the Islamic-led government of Iran which opposes freedom and equal rights starts cracking down on the voices for freedom and equal rights and blames the United States for it. Where is the outrage from all of the supposedly peaceful Muslims? Where are the riots of tolerant Muslims chanting “Down with Iran” and burning the Iranian flag? Where are the world protests against Iran’s treatment of these activists? They’re sitting at home blaming America for the evil Islam has brought to the world, that’s where.

11 February 2009


Ok, ok...I know I am terrible for not keeping up with my blog and I know you, my loyal readers are dying to hear what tantrum I will throw next, so here it is. I just read a very close friend of mine's blog post about the "Obama-bots" and I felt that I just had to say something. It is my humble opinion that my dear friend, Iron Horse Cowboy, is right to a large extent.

Now I know there are some of my fellow Dems out there who will wonder exactly whose side I'm on so let me say that I am a moderate in every sense of the word. I support gun rights, the death penalty, reproductive rights and gay rights. I do not blame Bush entirely for the economic mess we are currently in although I do believe he played a starring role. I never expected Obama to ride in on a white horse and turn everything around in 100 days or less. There are those of you out there that did expect that and do blame Bush and all I can say to you is give it a rest.

The facts are there; for instance, in 2000 when Clinton was leaving the Presidency, our economy was booming and there was a huge surplus in the Federal Budget. When Bush took office, one of the first things he proposed was a tax break because, in his mind, the government is not supposed to have a surplus...and I agree with this. Mistake #1 for Bush was the proportion of tax rebates across the board. For instance we got a check for $600 back then but when I looked around and asked some questions I discovered that his cronies in Texas (aka uber-rich) received around $6 million...got that? Mistake #2 was the notion that he could make those tax breaks permanent...even AFTER 9/11 and the subsequent invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq. Looks to me like Obama is going down this same road and I am dismayed...simple economics teaches that one cannot reduce income, increase spending and expect to remain solvent for very long. Mistake #3 for Bush was the entire invasion and subsequent insurgency war in Iraq...now I know the story about how he did it using intelligence he didn't know was faulty...I aint buyin it. The intelligence was there that Saddam Hussein never tried to buy yellow-cake uranium and did not have nuclear (not nucular, Mr. Bush) weapons. As for chemical weapons, the only thing found was 20 year old missile heads that had remnants of nerve gas. Mistake #4 for Bush was deregulating Wall Street and the banks further than Reagan did in the 80's. Unmitigated greed on Wall Street where profits took precedence over corporate solvency contributed greatly to this mess.

On to Obama, mistake #1 was nominating Tom Daschle to be Health and Human Services Secretary (not reporting income or paying taxes!), mistake #2 was nominating Eric Holder for Attorney General (remember those dubious pardons in 1999?) mistake #3 was nominating Leon Panetta for Director of the CIA (absolutely no experience in the intelligence community...maybe he stayed at a Holiday Inn Express?), mistake #4 was nominating Tim Geithner to be Treasury Secretary ($30,000 in taxes not paid!) At least Daschle did the right thing and withdrew from nomination...are you listening Tim, Eric, Leon??? Big mistakes made in the first days and weeks of a Presidency that was supposed to be committed to change. The stimulus package Obama is proposing is a necessary evil but the plan passed the House without a single Republican vote...this is bi-partisanship? Republican Senators crowing they will never support the plan unless they get what they want..and STILL calling the plan pork? Ya, bi-partisanship is a fantasy...get over it, you aint in Camelot, just get the damn job done.