25 February 2009

Christianity - The Greatest Hoax of Our Time

“I can’t wait to get out of this town…” This is what I was told when my wife and I went to what passes for a delicatessen around here last Sunday. We walked in after the church rush; yes there is a church rush around here but more on that later. We approached the counter and I cracked a joke about how dare you not have my potato soup on Sunday, don’t you know who I am??? I said this laughingly in jest since I know they don’t do that soup on Sundays; thing is she looked at me and said there were people like that who are serious! So, I cracked another joke with, “Don’t you know who I am? I go to Park Place Baptist Church” We shared another laugh and I apologized for making fun of the morons around here when she gave me the opening line. This girl is going to Tulane University in New Orleans in two years and she cannot wait to get the hell out of Brandon, Mississippi.

It amazes me the sheer number of churches around here. When we moved here we received a Welcome Package that listed four pages (FOUR PAGES!) of churches! You can’t swing a dead cat around here without hitting the Ten Commandments. We have “Christian Movers” and “Christian Day Care” and “Christian Plumbers”; every day I listen to someone going on and on about how they won’t do business with a “non-Christian”. These same people cut in front of you in line, and in traffic; these are the same people yakking away on their cell phone while they’re driving. These are the same people who think you are inferior if you don’t go to church.

It kills me that these same idiots who claim to be Christians will turn their backs on their fellow man. How can someone justify denying gay people basic civil rights like to get married? How can someone vehemently oppose abortion but be in full support of the death penalty? How can someone claim to love Jesus but ignore His most basic teachings? These are the people who vote against lifting the liquor restrictions in our county. Do you want to know why? Because their pastor tells them if they vote to lift the restriction there will be a liquor store or a strip club right next to their house the next day.

Wait, shhhhhhh, do you hear that? That is the sound of sheep, baaaah, baaaah...sheep being led to the slaughter by the wolves in sheep’s clothing.

1 comment:

  1. When I first left the big city of New Orleans for college in Ruston, Louisiana, I ws to become an instant victim of culture shock. The major insudstry along the I-20 corridor seems to be Churches and Christianity. If you do not belong to the club, or if you dare to think the least bit differently than the herd, you are cast out and scorned. When the club needs to hire a new leader, they interview and auditon sometimes dozens of candidates to find the exact clone of his predecessor who will then dictate to the herd the comfortable rules they have known all of their life. They fear to look outside of their safe cocoons to see that there really is a big, different world out there where people are actually allowed to think radical thoughts that might come into a free-thinking brain! Beene where you have been and are, Bulldog, and I understand exactly what you are talking about!