20 June 2009

What Is A Man???

Sometimes I can be just sitting on my sofa watching television when I see or hear something that provokes random thought in my mind. If you don't know what I'm talking about, that's ok, most of the time I'm not sure if I even know what I'm talking about! I know I've been particularly critical of religion lately so I am going to let those whackos alone for a while. Nope, this time I want to address certain beliefs that seem to be perpetuated through commercials and certain sitcoms.

If you have watched any television at all in the last 25 years or so, you are most likely familiar with the stereotype that men are insensitive, incompetent boobs who have to be saved on a daily basis by their rational wives. If one were to believe everything thay see and hear, one would think there isn't a man in the world who can cook, clean the gutters, change the oil in the family car, shop for groceries or do much of anything without making a huge nasty mess...and to a certain point, one may be right.

What irks me, however, is that through my daily life and interactions with other humans, I find exactly the opposite to be true...most of the time. Which begs the question; if the commercials are right and the television shows are right then why is it the vast majority of world-class executive chefs are men? What is so unmanly about being able to cook? What is so unmanly about being able to clean a house and do laundry? You know what, there is nothing unmanly about that! A good portion of my life was spent being single...my house was clean, I didn't go hungry, and I had clean laundry. Horrors, a man who can take care of himself! Whatever would the feminasties do if they knew men were actually valuable assets to society?! (This will be saved for a future conversation!)

On the other hand, if one were to read magazines such as Men's Health, one may deduce that men are moody, insecure little boys who need to read a magazine to figure out what they want out of life. Somebody at my work leaves these copies of Men's Health in our breakroom...one day I started reading one of them. Oh my, if I were to take their advice I'd probably end up in a looney bin! Do men really need to be told what and how to eat? Does any man truly believe it when a woman says she likes a sensitive man? There was an article in this issue that interviewed some super-model who stated her ideal man isn't afraid to cry in front of her and goes gaga over puppies and little kids...seriously!!!! From what I can gather from this rag is it must be geared to some kind of city guy; you know the type of guy who never gets his hands dirty, never turns a wrench, etc. Pretty much the same type of guy who watches that queer eye show. I don't know about you but I do not want a bunch of flamers telling me how I need to dress or whatever it is they do on that show. Now I am not a homophobe, but I do think that any man who will get a manicure and pedicure "just because" is somehow not really a man...maybe there's just a little too much girl there.

Girly-men, nancy-boys, metro-sexuals...all males who carry "man bags" and clip and shave various hairy areas.."they" call it "man-scaping" are not real men. There are some very simple rules for real men, such as which alcohol to drink. It is acceptable for real men to drink wine, though it HAS to be real wine and not some crap like White Zinfandel. Real men drink good beer and good liquor. Some acceptable liquors are Sailor Jerry Rum, Maker's Mark Bourbon, Glenfiddich 15 year Single Malt Scotch, and Jameson Irish Whiskey. Some acceptable beers would be Dundee Honey Brown Ale, Guinness Stout, Bass Ale, Miller Lite, Coors Light, and Miller High Life. A real man knows how to change the oil in his vehicle, knows why he keeps a pair of vice grips in the saddlebags on his bike, and instinctively knows how to grill the perfect steak. A real man doesn't need a magazine to tell him how to live and knows that whatever comes out of a supermodel's mouth is most likely bullshit. A real man knows how to answer his lady's questions like, "Do these jeans make me look fat?" A real man knows how to make an omelet and knows the current stats of his favorite teams and players.

Simple rules like those is what makes a man a man but I think the most important rule for a real man is this; a real man is a man who does not concern himself with what other people think of him, he just does what he knows is right...and he knows that sometimes the right thing is not the popular thing...know what I mean?

1 comment:

  1. Mississippip CaunJuly 1, 2009 at 8:52 PM

    Things seem to have gone far to the opposite side from when I was younger. I remember in Lafayette,LA, meeting a guy who was getting married the next day because he was "tired of eating at McDonalds". I also remember that cleaning the house, cooking, etc, was woman's work and any man who did these things was not really much of a mna....well I had dates most weekends while these clods were hanging out at the bars after eating dinner at McDonalds.
    Sorry for those of you who think stereotyping those of us who have life skills and some time in uniform that dictated we could keep a clean house, wash and iron our clothes, and even change the oil in our cars after doing the shopping for the week makes us less of men.
    If someone thinks that my possesion of the aforementioned skills makes me less of a man, I surely would like to watch as his wife routinely takes him apart for being the type of male on TV that Bulldog aluded to.